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Friday, December 25th, 2009
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urlilraingurl
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Merry Christmas everyone! I hope everyone has a fabulous day.
I just read through the entries I'd written on December 25th the past couple of years. Even though it seems silly sometimes that I've kept up with this for so long, when some of my entries are too cryptic for even me to remember what I was talking about; I'm still glad that I can reflect for a second if I want to remember.
Christmas Eve service tonight was nice; short and sweet. Jen and Terry came! It was nice to see them.
Things are good. Everyday I start to move in some sort of direction where I feel like I have more of an idea of what step to take next with my life. It's weird because time is seriously flying by. It's been a nice break so far though, full of good family bonding time, relaxing watching Roswell and Law and Order, working on stuff for HE and seeing good people. There was even a night at Mutal Mines! I hadn't been there in years. I've been going to Hernando park to feed the past couple Mondays and last Saturday. It's been fun. I've met some really nice people, and I know I'll miss it when it's time to go back to school.
Anyways, I know it's been a crazy year around here, and for all of you as well! Just know I'm sending well wishes to all of you! :) Take care & much love.
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Thursday, December 24th, 2009
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urlilraingurl
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Screw it. Life is life, and sometimes there aren't answers for all of it, and sometimes there aren't going to be big philosophical conversations about what each step occurring means. Sometimes things just happen, good things and not so good things, and that's how it goes.
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urlilraingurl
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I don't know, you know? Sometimes, you never know. Sometimes, there aren't answers, and the right questions aren't even out there. Because whenever I think I've found a way to ask myself, the answer seems irrelevant and the situation seems to disintegrate from its place in my mind.
I read these books by Garret Freymann-Weyr and I realized after I removed myself from the events of the stories for a moment, that there are answers to some questions in these that I didn't think someone would see. There's age and distance and the loss of words, all rolled up into these fabulously difficult situations.
I mean maybe I just shouldn't bother thinking about it at all because the questions that are troubling are ones I've been wondering about for years.
I don't think these books can justify the scenarios, and I don't think anyone would want them to.
It's just there are these tiny glimmers of time where the moments float and no one knows who knows. Eventually the windows will close and the sparkle will fade and the memories will get dusty in the corners of our minds.
In the middle of a moment though, in the glimpse of a parallel life, the atmosphere seems to surreal to question.
So, in this lifetime it all remains this loosely tethered secret, which no one has promised to keep quiet, and really no one's promised anything.
The thing about secrets is you keep them to yourself. Sometimes that's hard. Not the not telling but knowing that you won't know if it might make sense to anyone else. Before the secret got real deep, I brought it up to people that I thought might, might understand. But they didn't get it. So now I'm burying it.
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Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
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urlilraingurl
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I've been reading a lot lately. Fun reading, I mean. Between working on assignments for H.E. again, just over break. Today I did more reading than working, but oh well.
I found this video on John Green's blog yesterday, and I love, love, love it; thought I'd share.
I'm about to read his Looking for Alaska next.
In the meantime, life is good. Go figure I did the best on my fan culture project out of anything in a while. I'm glad the stress of finals are behind me, and this semester was really challenging. A challenge is a good thing, just at times can be overwhelming. I never know quite what I'm getting myself into.
"Rainy Day Women" episode of The OC came on today. I just finished watching, it's one of my favorites.
E has a basketball game tonight. It's kind of weird there aren't any home ones the month I'm home for.
I also got really into the Sing Off show.
Tomorrow I have an eye doctor appointment. In the afternoon I'll finally get to help with Blessings in a Backpack. I'm psyched about the latter.
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